The previous Real Talk posts in May and June seemed a little too serious and we thought of changing things up a little bit this month. Lest you think of us as nothing more than boring, sensible and responsible grown-ups. I can assure you, we are not.
After years of exaggerating, we decided to put an end to my endless food brags, i.e. "Jia, I can totally eat an entire cow", "Jia, I think I can eat 5kg worth of porridge", and "Jia, I feel like today's the day I eat 1000 wantons". Well, Jia has had it with my constant exaggerations and I was dying to be a competitive eater for a day.
This crazy exaggeration started when I was 9 and totally obsessed with wanton dumplings. I insisted that I could easily eat 20 wanton dumplings for every meal. Thankfully, my mum is the true sensible grown-up in my life and prevented the wanton tragedy from happening. Recently, I chanced upon Kinoshita Yuka's YouTube channel and I was in awe of how a petite Japanese lady can stomach so much food. If she can eat so much, I can surely eat as much, right?
Filled with inspiration and determination, I told Jia that we should challenge ourselves to eating 1000 wantons. And... she shot me down immediately. What a sport, I tell you. I was not going to give up just like that! After guilt-tripping her for having 4fingers without me, I insisted that we challenge ourselves to a fried chicken challenge. And so, we went down to the nearest 4fingers outlet with my dream of conquering at least 32 pieces each, with fries, rice boxes and salads. The aim was to wipe out the menu.
After Jia's persistent vetoing of the inclusion of fries in our challenge (seriously, what a sport, I tell you), we settled on sharing 18 pieces of drumlets and wings, 1 seafood rice box, 1 tofu and mushroom salad and 2 large iced teas as a warm-up exercise.
We have included the original running record of the whole experience below. The conversations, photographs and experience shared are 100% authentic, accurate and a true reflection of us.
Warning: Ridiculousness and Singlish conversations below.
The 4fingers Fried Chicken Challenge Transcript
Objective: Wipe out the menu
Min and Jia finds a table right at the entrance.
Min: Shall we change seats? The girls left.
Jia: Lazy. Besides, no one will look at us because we are at the entrance. They will look further. I think it is a proven theory.
Min: No, I really don't think it works that way. How about there? (Points to the empty tables behind)
Jia: There isn't much light there. Our photos will look horrible!
Min: Fine, we stay here.
*Comfortable silence due to intense tiredness*
Min: Okay, you know what, we should ask each other questions regarding this competition!
Jia: What competition? Who is competing?!
Min: How are you feeling right now?
Min: I AM HUNGRY! Food is the only thing I crave right now! (Goes on a very long monologue about someone massaging her shoulders, someone else flashing images of fried chicken in front of her, and a coach yelling "MIN, focus! Failure is not for you! You are a champion! You can wipe out the entire menu! Don't chew! Just speed through!". And the crowd continues to chant, 'F.R.I.E.D C.H.I.C.K.E.N! F.R.I.E.D C.H.I.C.K.E.N!')
Buzzer lights up, Min walks with confidence to the collection counter. She waves at Jia and does a peace sign. She smiles and thanks the server over-enthusiastically, picks up the tray and walks back to the table with a tray of food. Meanwhile, Jia tries to stay awake.
Min: So, what do you think about today's challenge?
Jia: I think it's quite lame.
Min: This is the best wedding diet ever! And I never thought I would have the chance to compete in such an exciting way!! #achievementunlocked
Jia: Compete against who?!
Min: (continues monologue: I am a champion! Champion! Champion! Champion! )
Jia: Aye, go and take the bucket.
Min walks back to the collection counter to pick up a small bucket that will be the storage bin for chicken bones.
Min: Mmm, I am so hungry. Shall we dive right into the fried chicken?
Jia: (Takes a spoonful of rice and eats it immediately) What? I am Asian, I need my rice.
Min: We should have ordered fries. The kimchi fries look so good!
Jia: No... confirm cannot finish!
Min and Jia starts eating the food in front of them. Quietly with determination.
Min: So yummy! I still can't believe you went to eat 4fingers without me!!!
Jia: I will only eat wings, okay? You eat all the drumlets.
Min: Huh! But the drumlets are all very big. This competition is unfair! Rigged game!
Jia: You know I only eat wings, right?
Min: Ya, but I want one wing. Let's exchange.
Jia picks up a fried shrimp, tears it apart and throws the flour batter discreetly into the small bucket.
Min: You think I never see ah?
Jia: I thought you were looking out of the window!
Min: I told you I have a teacher's peripheral vision, right?
Mid-challenge check in: Both conquered 3 pieces of chicken each and are getting quite delirious and giggly due to chicken overload.
Jia: We forgot to say grace! Is this gluttony? Are we sinning right now?
Min: Thank you for the food. Amen.
Jia: Thank you God, for the food. Amen.
Jia: I am full already. Are you still going strong?
Min: Hello, hungry people! Do you want some delicious fried chicken? (Tries to offer the remaining pieces of chicken drumlets to random passers-by) Actually, I think I am done. I am very full.
Jia: Ah ha! Fourth piece already. I can do this! (takes off cap and settles down comfortably on the stool)
Min: Hello, little girl, do you want some delicious fried chicken? (Tries to offer another piece of chicken to a little girl on a stroller. Discreetly tears chicken apart and throws a huge chunk of batter into the bucket.)
Jia: (Throws bones into the bucket and sees the huge chunk of chicken) Aye! Did you throw the chicken into the bucket? That's cheating!
Min: No! I threw the huge piece of batter away! The smell of the oil and fried chicken skin is making me sick. I can't eat it! Wah lao, the drumlet is damn big please! It's the size of my hand! Your wings are way thinner!
Jia: (Shakes head and continues eating)
Min: (Picks up a drumlet and places it next to her hand) You see! You see! Quick, take picture!
The pair breaks into hysterical laughter. The rest of the conversation is inaudible and not recorded due to hysteria caused by major fullness.
Jia: I AM DONE. I WIN! (Picks up the fork and starts eating the salad)
Min: Since when was this a competition? (Struggles to finish the last piece of drumlet that was seriously huge)
Jia: Wah lao, did you just throw your chicken inside the salad?
Min: I'm saving it for later.
The 4fingers Fried Chicken Challenge Ended at 4.02pm
How are you feeling right now?
Min: I am very tired of eating.
What do you think of this challenge?
Jia: I think it's quite lame.
Min: Ridiculous! Who comes out with challenges like that? It's not beneficial for the body at all. It's too salty and I think the fried chicken scratched my throat! Everything tastes the same! They said that the chicken is handpainted but mine wasn't even painted well. (shakes head) Worst social experiment ever. How is this benefitting my wedding diet? I believe that 1000 wantons will be more rewarding. Let's do that the next time!
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